Moments like this just make me feel I'm shit.

+ I have yet to finish preparing for teaching on sat.
and the preparation material is in traditional chinese.
such a pain in the ass now to read it, think through, and prepare it.

+ preparations for exams on next Friday and Monday.
like just 2 paper nia, but I'm feeling so unconfident and unprepared as usual.

+ some ns admin stuff to organise and settle.

+ some church admin stuff to settle as well.
i don't understand why is it so difficult for me to finish it.

why do events and happenings always have to come my way during my exam period?
why can't i just not be bothered by things other than my exams for this period?
why can't these things be kept to the minimal?

not like anything devastating happening in my life right now anyway.
but just feel freaking sian.

maybe i'm just a selfish bastard with low stress tolerance capacity.
selfish and self-centred, and only want to maximise my own utility.

sometimes i just hate who i am and how i am.