somehow i feel a sense of relief the moment i reached home today.
i felt like the busiest week is finally over!
next week would be free-er, compared to last week..
so it means it will still be busy.. hahaha.

well, i've still got assignments and auditing materials to read, which are soooooo boring and hard to get through without my mind drifting and maybe falling asleep.

our day starts from when we sleep, not from when we wake up.
so, 圣灵求你充满我！

time really passed damn fast. its wednesday already!

i'm halfway through my week. 

today's GLS was awesome! i felt it was fruitful!

and i'm really thankful for the opportunity to serve for GLS.

it was a wonderful experience and i really enjoyed myself as i served and worship.

the sessions were an affirmation to what i've been trying to do, to be honest and truthful about my life and to people.

this opens us up to being vulnerable, and vulnerability is powerful.

and it is exactly the point that when we open ourselves up to tell the truth, people are drawn to us.

and that is how we should live, to tell people that i am able to be so truthful and honest about the problems in my life (as well as doing my best to point out problems with people in a kind manner, trying my best to bring out the best in everyone).

that is how we can also show people Christ in our life.

Jesus is relevant, and He has set us an example of being humble and vulnerable.

definitely i would love to attend tomorrow's session! 

but time is just running out for me. activities after activities.

i just need a break.

my studies are kinda ... neglected.

well, tml's the day to catch up!

my days have been moving so fast and hectic that my 灵魂  is lagging behind.

well, 原谅我的慢灵魂!

it needs time to catch up!

i feel tired. physically and mentally.
as i look at the week ahead, it's packed.
but there's a satisfaction within. :)

Lord, teach me to 在忙中仍然有喜乐.

我相信最好的还在前头！

i feel like i can sleep better now.

no more constipations.

kinda enjoying this feeling now. :)

what were u doing in my dream?

i just feel so ashamed of myself.

not just 1 night, it was 2 consecutive nights.

snapshots of reality tells me no, its impossible.

i tried to stop and i thought i've succeeded.

but hang on, wait for it wait for it ... ... NO!

i've never truly succeeded.

i want to get over it and move on, but i can't.

analyzing it from a rational point of view, we are just too different.

maybe i just need to be bitten.

i've never felt such emo siansation for quite a long while.

maybe zhenghua is right, i'm really making a big decision in my life now.

i need to be FREED.

i feel so bounded and trapped.

the ambiguity is killing me.

during my turning point in life, i've always tried my best to live by HONESTY.

because only by being honest and transparent in life, i can attain freedom in life.

honesty and transparency in doing your best to live the right life and to live you life right.

we are all weak, we all need help, and we will all fall down.

maybe i've been trying too hard to be strong and acting as if such things don't bother me anymore.

but, it does bother me. i just refuse to talk about it.

i feel like it makes me vulnerable when i talk about it.

and i feel so confused.

now it looks like i have some root issues to tackle. zzz.

maybe its a character flaw that i think too much.

i analyze too much and predict and focus on the negative outcome.

to think that someone who is always so positive in speech can be so negative inside.

but there is a need to be positive outwardly to quell the negativity within.

avoidance is not a good strategy, facing it is.

i need to face it and be set free.

face the risk of getting bitten.

*gnawwwwwwwww*

nowadays i like to say: 'what is life without some risk? it adds colour to your dull grey life.'