read this!
http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/10/30/i-dont-know-what-im-defending-anymore/
i think the student could have given some suggestions when sm goh asked him for it, but maybe he did but it was not published. and it is true that the younger generation should rise up and lead the country, hence shld give constructive views beneficial for both the nation n citizens, instead of always commenting about increasing expenses, even though it is true. hahaha.
but honestly, after reading some comments, i cant help but to agree that sometimes we youths wants the 'quickie' solution and maintain our standard of living once we head out into the working world. we grew up with car, flat, and adequate pocket money from parents (don't apply to all though). hence, some might expect ourselves to own a car, a flat, start a family, get married etc within the first few years of our working life in order to maintain the standard of living.
if we asked how long did it take our parents to own a car, a flat, start a family and get married, probably 5-10 yrs of working. and if we come out to the working world, with expectations of driving a car, getting married young and buying a new flat in 3-5 yrs, i think we're too naive. if you say last time cost of living was cheap, and it alrdy took your parents 5-10yrs, then how long should it take us now when the cost of living is increasing? they served 2.5 yrs of NS last time too! and maybe not all pursued a degree after that. so timeline wise, shouldnt it take us abt the same amt of time as our parents took in order to have a comfortable life on our own? so what if we are DINKs nowadays?
i think the answer to buying new flats with rocketing prices is how much are we willing to save n sacrifice? are we willing to eat $3 charsiew rice every meal and forego $6 macdonalds and $20 ding tai fung? for myself, i find that most of my expenses goes to eating.
my expenses breakdown now as a student living off my parents:
food: if avg $5 a meal (main course + drinks), both lunch n dinner daily = $280/mth
transport: if avg $4 a day = $124/mth
hp bill with data plan: $46/mth
haircut: $20/mth. i believe in pay peanuts get monkeys. unless i can find a cheaper and still good fellow to cut my hair.
total: $470/mth.
$470/mth just to maintain myself. say if i cut a my hair at $10 and get a mobile w/o data plan, it's $444/mth. not much significant difference anw. i'm not even taking entertainment into the picture! youths nowadays like to club, pub, drink, take cab, buy clothes etc. hence we work part-time. so that we can earn enough to live comfortably. and when we are thrown into the harsh reality of the working world and break off from leeching our parents, we bitch about the govt for rocketing prices for everything. car, COE, tax, bus fares etc. even though it is really true that it is VERY questionable on the minister's salary.
so if we take entertainment out of the expenses, we complain that singapore is a dull city. and when entertainment comes, our wallet thins. when it thins, we complain other things being expensive, then we have no money to buy shelter over our heads, then we don't feel a sense of belonging because we are always working to pay off loans, then we say we want to migrate, then we say govt tax so heavily and our life is becoming tougher blah blah blah.
even though it is true that the govt shld do sth about it, but at the same time SM goh opened up an opportunity for the student to air his views and give constructive comments. dialouge sessions are not complain sessions. i believe they want to receive constructive comments too. if you are not happy about sth and you feel strongly about it, come up with a solution for it. don't present a problem w/o a solution. and it is true that the ministers are losing touch with the younger generation of thinking.
“If the majority feel they don’t belong here, then we have a fundamental problem. Then I would ask myself: What am I doing here? Why should I be working for people who don’t feel they belong over here?” asked SM Goh.
maybe he shld just sack himself now for making such irresponsible statement. he could have given a better reply. why should u be working for people who don't feel they belong?? so does it mean that you are not working now and still drawing salary?? and we are paying tax for someone who questions "What am I doing here? Why should I be working for people who don’t feel they belong over here?".
the new generation of singaporeans, we need to rise up.
stop bitching about how tough life is, because to each his own.
step up, present a better solution, and take over!
well, just my 5-cents POV.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
if i can express my marginal utility in numbers, the lucky number for today is -50.
sometimes i wonder, am i that hard to please?
are my expectations too high?
or maybe i just suck at managing disappointments?
the whole of this week had been filled with ups and downs.
all in ONE day.
each day, there are some ups and there are some downs.
let me start from sunday.
SUN
my sunday was a weird one. for some reason, i didn't feel good.
i felt a little frustrated.
about my life, about my family, about my sister, about my future, about my studies.
and when rev fu cai called us to go forward, i just went forward.
i knew that i needed God, and i felt quite horrible inside.
i just cried uncontrollably in front.
i didn't want to.
i tried to hide, i tried to conceal it.
but i had no control over it.
MON
ups:
- done with churning out the scenes for christmas skit.
- musician training session was fun.
downs:
- throughout the day i've been receiving updates about an aunt who had been hospitalised. she went into a coma ALL OF THE SUDDEN, had to go through emergency surgery, but because of some complications it wasn't successful.
i struggled whether to visit or not in the evening, as i had skit discussion in the day and musician training at night.
but after i called my mum, she said don't have to. can visit on tues.
when i reached home from training at night, deren sms-ed me that she's in critical condition and anytime can be her last.
so i rushed down to the hospital at 11pm.
every sound that came from the life-support machine and heartbeat monitoring system just made our hearts skip a beat.
but by 0111, she's gone.
and i wondered "why was i there?"
firstly i wasnt very close with her.
secondly, it was very late already, i have school on tues.
but i just felt that i should be there.
honestly, i didn't have much emotions over it.
it felt more like an obligation and socially-correct thing to be there.
not like i can do anything to save her.
by the time i was there, we were all standing around and WAITING.
waiting for the inevitable to happen, while praying for a miracle.
well, by being there it felt more like showing family support.
TUES
quite neutral.
maybe i was too tired by the end of the day to feel anything much.
or maybe the only feeling was numbness and bo-chap-ness about whatever.
but i just felt the urging to attend prayer meeting that night.
and i went, despite me nodding my head at my lecturers umpteen times from 12pm-630pm.
honestly, i felt like a robot that day.
WED
ups:
- small little things that happened along the way through the day.
- having quick lunch with my friends from CMAC lifted my mood too.
- got 13/25 for PBF test
- met koh koh klunch for cheap cheap dinner at np after lessons.
downs:
- felt put down by my ME lecturer when i went down to ask him some questions pertaining the tutorials. that seriously killed my mood for the entire day, because it was the first time i felt so stupid and worthless like a fool when i went down to ask questions.
he misunderstood my question and i guess he was more concerned about going for his smoke break than attending to the needs of students, which is his primary job.
sometimes i really feel like i'm paying for QUALITY CERTIFICATION & EXAMINATION, and not for quality education.
- and just when i thought a good haircut would offset my disatisfaction, it added to it. BY A LOT.
i felt it was horrible. definitely not what i wanted. i felt so pissed.
THURS
ups:
- i actually made it to my aunt's funeral at malaysia. to be honest, it was a struggle whether to go or not. i had no lessons in the day but i had muay thai training in the evening, and knowing my family, going to m'sia certainly meant that i won't make it for training. because they will drag here and there and dilly dally.
it was a big struggle whether to go over or not.
so . . .
- just when i thought i couldn't make it for muay thai training today, God made it happen!
and honestly i enjoyed today's training tremendously.
the amount of explosive force exerted on the training pad eased quite a lot of tension that resided within me.
downs:
- people don't seem to understand me. and when i try to explain, it always end up like i'm in the wrong. really like i 多说多错. i hate it. and when i don't say, they just misunderstand me! damn.
- because of the costly MT lesson, i tried asking the coach to see if my fees can be pro-rated.
well, since it's in this section of cos the answer was a no. many reasons behind it.
but i still find that even after my attempts to be regular and how much i enjoyed MT trainings, it was just very disappointing and disheartening to hear that answer. there are other martial arts on days other than thurs, and if i know that certain of my thurs nights are booked, then why join MT? why don't i just join karate, taekwondo, or wingchun?
it isn't logical at all. its just passion.
i felt really disappointed, for something that i enjoy so much and is not willing to compromise it away for something else, to receive a 'no'.
through a build-up of all these series of happenings, tell me, no wrong, teach me to be joyful.
i seriously can't feel any joy.
or much joy.
if my satisfaction for a day is expressed in percentage, it would be:
ups = 30/100 = 30%
downs = -50/100 = -50%
satisfaction for a day = 30% + (-50%) = -20%
i know it's wrong mathematically, but whatever.
my main point is, my satisfaction for a day is a negative.
somehow, negativity is setting in again from a different angle and approach.
dear Lord,
i wonder how my tomorrow will be like.
based on statistics, the probability of tml being similar to the previous days is high.
You tell me not to worry,
i shall do my best to not worry.
my future is in Your hands.
to predict my tomorrows based on statistics is an insult to You.
an insult to Your greatness and mercy.
but my days are like kinder surprise chocolate eggs now.
there is uncertainty on whatever that is inside.
not all toys are fun to play with and are what i want.
i know i should not be negative.
but i just can't help it.
i don't have joy overflowing like before.
God, i just pray You make tomorrow a better.
because the best has yet to come.
in Jesus name i pray,
Amen.
sometimes i wonder, am i that hard to please?
are my expectations too high?
or maybe i just suck at managing disappointments?
the whole of this week had been filled with ups and downs.
all in ONE day.
each day, there are some ups and there are some downs.
let me start from sunday.
SUN
my sunday was a weird one. for some reason, i didn't feel good.
i felt a little frustrated.
about my life, about my family, about my sister, about my future, about my studies.
and when rev fu cai called us to go forward, i just went forward.
i knew that i needed God, and i felt quite horrible inside.
i just cried uncontrollably in front.
i didn't want to.
i tried to hide, i tried to conceal it.
but i had no control over it.
MON
ups:
- done with churning out the scenes for christmas skit.
- musician training session was fun.
downs:
- throughout the day i've been receiving updates about an aunt who had been hospitalised. she went into a coma ALL OF THE SUDDEN, had to go through emergency surgery, but because of some complications it wasn't successful.
i struggled whether to visit or not in the evening, as i had skit discussion in the day and musician training at night.
but after i called my mum, she said don't have to. can visit on tues.
when i reached home from training at night, deren sms-ed me that she's in critical condition and anytime can be her last.
so i rushed down to the hospital at 11pm.
every sound that came from the life-support machine and heartbeat monitoring system just made our hearts skip a beat.
but by 0111, she's gone.
and i wondered "why was i there?"
firstly i wasnt very close with her.
secondly, it was very late already, i have school on tues.
but i just felt that i should be there.
honestly, i didn't have much emotions over it.
it felt more like an obligation and socially-correct thing to be there.
not like i can do anything to save her.
by the time i was there, we were all standing around and WAITING.
waiting for the inevitable to happen, while praying for a miracle.
well, by being there it felt more like showing family support.
TUES
quite neutral.
maybe i was too tired by the end of the day to feel anything much.
or maybe the only feeling was numbness and bo-chap-ness about whatever.
but i just felt the urging to attend prayer meeting that night.
and i went, despite me nodding my head at my lecturers umpteen times from 12pm-630pm.
honestly, i felt like a robot that day.
WED
ups:
- small little things that happened along the way through the day.
- having quick lunch with my friends from CMAC lifted my mood too.
- got 13/25 for PBF test
- met koh koh klunch for cheap cheap dinner at np after lessons.
downs:
- felt put down by my ME lecturer when i went down to ask him some questions pertaining the tutorials. that seriously killed my mood for the entire day, because it was the first time i felt so stupid and worthless like a fool when i went down to ask questions.
he misunderstood my question and i guess he was more concerned about going for his smoke break than attending to the needs of students, which is his primary job.
sometimes i really feel like i'm paying for QUALITY CERTIFICATION & EXAMINATION, and not for quality education.
- and just when i thought a good haircut would offset my disatisfaction, it added to it. BY A LOT.
i felt it was horrible. definitely not what i wanted. i felt so pissed.
THURS
ups:
- i actually made it to my aunt's funeral at malaysia. to be honest, it was a struggle whether to go or not. i had no lessons in the day but i had muay thai training in the evening, and knowing my family, going to m'sia certainly meant that i won't make it for training. because they will drag here and there and dilly dally.
it was a big struggle whether to go over or not.
- last week's muay thai lesson was cancelled due to some school event. if i don't go this week, then i will be missing lessons for 1 mth. because next week i'm having worship practice on thurs night. so out of 3 weeks, i have to miss 1 session. and this cycle continues. i enjoy both muay thai and worship practice and this made me love my thursdays. but because of other events and i have to miss MT, i was not ready to compromise! i am already missing 1 lesson every 3 weeks. if other events (worship practice aside) eat up my lessons, i will go MAD!
- i wasn't very close with my aunt. but sometimes it's just torturous that i am a christian and i should do the right thing. and the right thing is to go, even if i'm not close and we have different religion. i just don't want my relatives to have the impression that 'oh oh, christians won't come one la.' no respect one, last rite for dead people also wun come because of church church church. i hate it when people have those thoughts. but at the same time i can't blame them because they don't understand.
- and if i don't go, i'm dead sure my sister wun go too. i had to set the example and go no matter how i felt. she already cancelled her tuition for thurs to go for the funeral, and she still can wake up thinking that if i don't go, she can don't go too. and if she don't go, what is she going to do at home with 'o' levels round the corner? i highly doubt she'll study seriously. just gonna use me as an excuse to not go for school and tuition and stay at home. but that's not gonna happen. and it's not that i don't want to go, it's because i didn't want to miss my already-so-rare-n-precious-n-expensive MT lesson.
so . . .
- just when i thought i couldn't make it for muay thai training today, God made it happen!
and honestly i enjoyed today's training tremendously.
the amount of explosive force exerted on the training pad eased quite a lot of tension that resided within me.
downs:
- people don't seem to understand me. and when i try to explain, it always end up like i'm in the wrong. really like i 多说多错. i hate it. and when i don't say, they just misunderstand me! damn.
- because of the costly MT lesson, i tried asking the coach to see if my fees can be pro-rated.
well, since it's in this section of cos the answer was a no. many reasons behind it.
but i still find that even after my attempts to be regular and how much i enjoyed MT trainings, it was just very disappointing and disheartening to hear that answer. there are other martial arts on days other than thurs, and if i know that certain of my thurs nights are booked, then why join MT? why don't i just join karate, taekwondo, or wingchun?
it isn't logical at all. its just passion.
i felt really disappointed, for something that i enjoy so much and is not willing to compromise it away for something else, to receive a 'no'.
through a build-up of all these series of happenings, tell me, no wrong, teach me to be joyful.
i seriously can't feel any joy.
or much joy.
if my satisfaction for a day is expressed in percentage, it would be:
ups = 30/100 = 30%
downs = -50/100 = -50%
satisfaction for a day = 30% + (-50%) = -20%
i know it's wrong mathematically, but whatever.
my main point is, my satisfaction for a day is a negative.
somehow, negativity is setting in again from a different angle and approach.
dear Lord,
i wonder how my tomorrow will be like.
based on statistics, the probability of tml being similar to the previous days is high.
You tell me not to worry,
i shall do my best to not worry.
my future is in Your hands.
to predict my tomorrows based on statistics is an insult to You.
an insult to Your greatness and mercy.
but my days are like kinder surprise chocolate eggs now.
there is uncertainty on whatever that is inside.
not all toys are fun to play with and are what i want.
i know i should not be negative.
but i just can't help it.
i don't have joy overflowing like before.
God, i just pray You make tomorrow a better.
because the best has yet to come.
in Jesus name i pray,
Amen.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
i find that these days i am very troubled by many issues.
i bring them to sleep, and i wake up carrying them again to where ever i go.
i guess this is the main reason why i'm having dreams every night.
they're not nightmares, just dreams of adverse outcomes.
i can say almost every night i'm dreaming.
it feels like an emotional turmoil inside me.
before dreams became a frequet flyer with me, i could remember the details.
but now, i can only rmb the key pple inside it and not the details.
all i rmb is: it's negative.
i can still rmb the first of the chain.
it was a pleasant dream.
but the rest that followed till now had been negative/weird/ridiculous/strange blah blah.
and it's been almost a mth now?
i've never had continuous dreams over such a long period of time before.
could it be hormonal changes??
but a bit old liao huh.. hahaha.
i just wish to keep my sanity God.
i bring them to sleep, and i wake up carrying them again to where ever i go.
i guess this is the main reason why i'm having dreams every night.
they're not nightmares, just dreams of adverse outcomes.
i can say almost every night i'm dreaming.
it feels like an emotional turmoil inside me.
before dreams became a frequet flyer with me, i could remember the details.
but now, i can only rmb the key pple inside it and not the details.
all i rmb is: it's negative.
i can still rmb the first of the chain.
it was a pleasant dream.
but the rest that followed till now had been negative/weird/ridiculous/strange blah blah.
and it's been almost a mth now?
i've never had continuous dreams over such a long period of time before.
could it be hormonal changes??
but a bit old liao huh.. hahaha.
i just wish to keep my sanity God.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
with you - Superchic[k]
alright, here is my virgin attempt of solo performance.
i was really nervous.
so nervous that i didn't know what to say.
not to mention made some mistakes and went out of tune a little.
hahaha.
but well, whatever~~
it was done during 真爱立约 in church last sat.
it was for married couples who got married before becoming a christian, hence vows were not made in the presence of God (i think).
so this is for them to say their wedding vows once more in the presence of God.
my parents were there, hence my performance.
initally i didn't want to do it when ps qingying called me.
i didnt know what song to present and i seldom listen to lovey dovey songs.
only emo songs, rock, punk rock, alt rock blah blah.
but as i scrolled through my itouch, i found this song and thought it was very meaningful.
SIMPLE n meaningful.
yessss, simple is the key here.
easy to play, sweet and nice.
well, maybe not my voice, but the original's voice is sweet. haha.
With You - Superchic[k]
I will walk beside you
Good and bad times
Bask the streets for spare change
I'll hold the sign
Though the storms may blow down
All that we own
I will not be homeless
You are home
Through it all
I'll go down to the bottom with you
They can take it all away
But I'll be alright with you
As long as you are by my side
I'll be okay
I'll be alright
With you
Charge the gates with fury
Blaze through the lines
Do not fear for safety
Yours or mine
Walk the path untravelled
Faith be your guide
I will walk beside you
All our lives
Risk it all
I'll go through anything with you
They can take it all away
But I'll be alright with you
As long as you are in my life
I'll be okay
I'll be alright
With you
i was really nervous.
so nervous that i didn't know what to say.
not to mention made some mistakes and went out of tune a little.
hahaha.
but well, whatever~~
it was done during 真爱立约 in church last sat.
it was for married couples who got married before becoming a christian, hence vows were not made in the presence of God (i think).
so this is for them to say their wedding vows once more in the presence of God.
my parents were there, hence my performance.
initally i didn't want to do it when ps qingying called me.
i didnt know what song to present and i seldom listen to lovey dovey songs.
only emo songs, rock, punk rock, alt rock blah blah.
but as i scrolled through my itouch, i found this song and thought it was very meaningful.
SIMPLE n meaningful.
yessss, simple is the key here.
easy to play, sweet and nice.
well, maybe not my voice, but the original's voice is sweet. haha.
With You - Superchic[k]
I will walk beside you
Good and bad times
Bask the streets for spare change
I'll hold the sign
Though the storms may blow down
All that we own
I will not be homeless
You are home
Through it all
I'll go down to the bottom with you
They can take it all away
But I'll be alright with you
As long as you are by my side
I'll be okay
I'll be alright
With you
Charge the gates with fury
Blaze through the lines
Do not fear for safety
Yours or mine
Walk the path untravelled
Faith be your guide
I will walk beside you
All our lives
Risk it all
I'll go through anything with you
They can take it all away
But I'll be alright with you
As long as you are in my life
I'll be okay
I'll be alright
With you
finally! 1 full day at home doing nth much.
woke up at 10am, slacked, bought lunch, slacked, till now.
i'm enjoying my unproductivity.
but it's a bad sign.
i'm gonna stop soon to start revision and tutorials, if not i will suffer next week. haha.
I AM SADDDD!!!!
supposed to be having muay thai training tonight, but it's cancelled due to convocation!! :(
argghhhhhhhh *SAD*
i was very looking forward to training tonight!
oh well..
gives me more time to do more revision.
and i'm kind of struggling with PBF (principles of banking & finance).
i'm having trouble getting used to the terms like FINANCIAL INTERMEDIARIES, STOCKS & BONDS, debt bonds, equity bonds, securities, default risks etc.
not tt i don't know what they are, but just that i can't explain them properly.
it's like my knowledge of it is similar to 5ml of water.
pour it out and the flow don't even last for more that 1 sec.
read up more man!
woke up at 10am, slacked, bought lunch, slacked, till now.
i'm enjoying my unproductivity.
but it's a bad sign.
i'm gonna stop soon to start revision and tutorials, if not i will suffer next week. haha.
I AM SADDDD!!!!
supposed to be having muay thai training tonight, but it's cancelled due to convocation!! :(
argghhhhhhhh *SAD*
i was very looking forward to training tonight!
oh well..
gives me more time to do more revision.
and i'm kind of struggling with PBF (principles of banking & finance).
i'm having trouble getting used to the terms like FINANCIAL INTERMEDIARIES, STOCKS & BONDS, debt bonds, equity bonds, securities, default risks etc.
not tt i don't know what they are, but just that i can't explain them properly.
it's like my knowledge of it is similar to 5ml of water.
pour it out and the flow don't even last for more that 1 sec.
read up more man!
Monday, October 04, 2010
this week was quite an intense one.
it's just the 2nd week of school.
it wasn't just an ordinary week.
it was mentally and emotionally intense.
i was worried about tutorials.
not just completing them, but also understanding what was taught.
next, worship practice on thurs night was so horrible.
i felt so bad about myself that i just sat on my toilet bowl and stoned when i was home.
ISORG had a mini group project.
i have yet to finish my part (then).
the script writing for christmas required my attention too.
the dreams i've been having made me feel horrible when i wake up in the morning.
kinda suck the soul out of me.
well, but i thank God that i've JUST finish my ISORG and submitted it.
and that worship yesterday was still AWESOME even though i felt i was really bad on thurs and i didn't practice at all before sunday and i had no time to adjust my pedal settings.
this is a new week.
new things are coming.
dear Lord,
please make my week good,
though i know i'm a bad boy.
in Jesus name i pray,
amen.
it's just the 2nd week of school.
it wasn't just an ordinary week.
it was mentally and emotionally intense.
i was worried about tutorials.
not just completing them, but also understanding what was taught.
next, worship practice on thurs night was so horrible.
i felt so bad about myself that i just sat on my toilet bowl and stoned when i was home.
ISORG had a mini group project.
i have yet to finish my part (then).
the script writing for christmas required my attention too.
the dreams i've been having made me feel horrible when i wake up in the morning.
kinda suck the soul out of me.
well, but i thank God that i've JUST finish my ISORG and submitted it.
and that worship yesterday was still AWESOME even though i felt i was really bad on thurs and i didn't practice at all before sunday and i had no time to adjust my pedal settings.
this is a new week.
new things are coming.
dear Lord,
please make my week good,
though i know i'm a bad boy.
in Jesus name i pray,
amen.
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