hmm.. i'm posting again, because i really want to thank God.
the book 'battlefield of the mind' is really good!
it tackles a lot of 'wilderness mentalities' that need to be dealt with.
this week, what struck me most is patience in waiting.
i'm really glad that God gave me the opportunity to see and know about my weaknesses..
its really true that i'm not good at handling stress.
i go berserk when i'm feeling the weight inside my heart.
i felt so anxious, so nervous, so irritated, so frustrated.
but i just had to learn to be patient..
patience doesnt simply just mean waiting, but its waiting without complain or anger.
in the midst of compiling the f&b report, i felt quite frustrated about certain stuff.
feeling tired, feeling that i just want to get over and done with it..
but i know i shouldnt! i should give my best in doing everything!
and no matter how frustrated i am, God also showed me that i must be appreciative.
i have to learn to appreciate what people have done, even though in the process i may be feeling unhappy.

this also led me to another thing, idealistic vs realistic.
its also from inside the book, heh.
i shall just say a little about it..
everyone dreams of the ideal, thinks of the ideal..
but sometimes, we think so much about the ideal until we forget about the reality.
in your own world, own mind, many things can take place..
u can imagine that the project team would produce the best work, the project team will score A etc.
but in reality, it may not actually be the case!
we are all weak, but yet we all want to strive for the best.
weak in the sense that sometimes we give in to temptations, knowing that when we are not doing what are supposed to do, we will not get the best results or the imagined results.
it is not wrong to dream of the ideal, but sometimes dreaming too much of the ideal will set us up for disappointment.
it may hurt ourselves.
we may end up feeling very upset about why we cant achieve it..

hmmm.. just like sometimes i think too much about the ideal, but in reality, its not happening, its not achievable, i set myself up for disappointment..
hmmm.. and i guess in relationships, stop dreaming of ideal. haha.
the reality is different from the ideal.
one mean one, two means two.
one doesnt equals to two.

quote quote :
" i buy curry puff for u everyday. but its ok if u don't buy me back any curry puffs, because i'm doing it out of my own will. i don't expect you to buy me back any curry puffs. you may not even notice it. "
so getting some curry puffs back in return may just be an incentive. haha.
i guess i shall just patiently wait, keeping reality in check and dreaming less about the ldeal.
whether or not, its just something that have to be left to a later date to be discovered.
i shall just view everything as an incentive, until things are confirmed.